Writing down your Thoughts

Of late, I realized that writing is a very good practice. Its one of the best method of letting your thoughts and emotions out of your mind. 

Someone said to me that when you are stressed, get a piece of paper, sit down to write and go on writing, write whatever comes into your mind till you start falling asleep and the pen falls off your hand.

The best part of writing is that it stays with you and you have no risk of anyone listening to it. You can write down what’s in your mind and keep it safe somewhere without the fear of someone accidentally reading it, or it, falling into anyone else’s hand. Because when saying someone something, the biggest fear you have, is that the person might feel bad. 

Because once a word comes out of your mouth, you cannot just return it.

I have to say something. And I will therefore write it.

Why am I so dumb, so irregular, so very impatient and so very careless about Life. Many people, my parents, even my friends have asked me many a times about my aim in life, most of the times I don’t have a answer to give to them. Is it the case with everyone, ok at least most of that everyone, or am I something unique. Now don’t you tell me being unique is a good thing, if it had been that good, I wouldn’t have returned so dumb that night after giving the gift to my sweetheart. She did say that I was unique, there was something special with me, but that’s the reason why she didn’t accept my gift. Now I couldn’t understand the relation. Or I started to think that being unique at any place is bad, really bad. 

You shouldn’t be unique at all. Or else that uniqueness of yours will one day take away your entire speciality, and leave you dumb.

Dumb again, my aim in my life is something that I don’t know or haven’t realized yet. Never know if I will ever realize. Not that there are a few options. My dear, I am 3/4^th of an engineer with an excellent track record. I will become a very good engineer very soon, although I don’t even understand the E of Electronics till now. 

Ok Electronics,
my branch, used to be my love till I joined it. Now, tell me a thing, how do you guys expect me to build a motion equation of that small, tiny, immensely worthless particle named Electron, whose structural diagram has never been built in my own brain. Simply speaking, I have never ever seen it. No human, I say, normal human with normal humanly capabilities will ever see it with his own naked eyes.

Saying normal, I am normal. Very much normal. My body is normal, at least I don’t have a part that’s even half defunct. All are working abnormally fine. Very normal isn’t it ? That’s me. I have never been through an abnormal situation, so normally abnormal, that it would make me learn a lesson. 

My life has been very normal till yet, and I expect it to be normal even ahead. I know it will be. So why do the things that occur with me have to be so abnormal ??

We will come back to this. So what was I telling ? I do have many options. My father, my Hero, tells me that I have the caliber. If I try, I can do something great in life. Even my friends say that to me. But I have never experienced that. If I really have that, I can understand my uniqueness. But if I don’t, I really don’t understand this abnormality. And I am pretty sure nobody can make me understand it. 

Cause as they say, till you don’t look inside your own self and try to find out who you are, nobody can make you realize or understand that.

Finally, Having realized that I am not unique, I can now concentrate on trying to realize, what should I do next. No unique things occur with me. Its just my way of perceiving things. I simply try to force myself to believe that, those situations and occurrences which I fail in, are unique to me and they shouldn’t have occurred with me. 

BUT FAILURE IS IMPORTANT !!

Failure is very important, although not sweet. Are all important things sweet ? No. Obviously not. Most important things are never sweet. Consider Medicines as an example, so bitter, so painstakingly pale in taste, but so very important to our body.

Most of the times, those things which help us are bitter in taste. You do have to lose somethings, in order to gain others. That’s also the case here.

So where was I ? Failure. Failure is very important, although not sweet, but its important. 

They say, you haven’t completely won in your life, till you haven’t failed atleast once. 

Till the time you don’t fail, you never know failure and you don’t know the art of coping up and moving on with the fact that you are a failure. Because, after failure, the most important thing is to realize that you have failed, then immediately move on, stop thinking about that failure and start afresh with a new path. So till you haven’t failed atleast once, you never know how to cope with it when it comes some day. Mind you, my friend, 

nobody except the almighty is invincible. Everybody has to and will fail in something, someday.

Now, coping up with failure, is an art. It’s an art of the same level as making a sculpture out of plain clay or painting a master piece on a sheet of white canvas. The most difficult time in a journey starts when you have failed to reach your destination. Because failure gives rise to a feeling or dejection, a feeling that you are nothing, you are worthless and if you have really worked hard for something and still fail to achieve it, you feel much more dejected. And this feeling of dejection is very self convincing. It can convince you to do almost anything. That’s where the art comes in. 

Moving on with the fact that you have failed, taking some rest to relax your mind and then trying afresh from a newer path, is the sole purpose and motive of that art. Everyone must know that art. Only then can a person can completely and actually win in everything in his life.

I still couldn’t tell you anything about the topic with which I had started my writing. That’s a very bad habit I have. I have this inability to concentrate on a single thing at a single instance of time. I tend to move away, stray away, into other topics. 

Science terms this disorder as a disease and has named it as ADHD. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. 

Very much self explanatory. The person considered here, for example me, is deficit in attentiveness, has a disorder known as hyperactivity. Now before you guys term me as some insane person, some person with some freaking mental disease or disorder, let me tell you, ADHD is not actually a disease. It’s a syndrome and it has been found to occur with the greatest of scientists, craftsmen and many renowned people. It has also been found to occur with many number of normal people, like me. So I am not insane, i am not a scientist, 

I AM AN ABNORMALLY NORMAL PERSON 

and whatever I am talking or writing here is not at all rubbish and you can safely read this without any risk of making your own self insane.

To be continued.. Very soon..

- Omkar Satapathy